With regard to the cruise, they probably have a gluten-free menu, I'd ask for that. At least that way you won't get any wheat. Cruises usually give you twice as much food as you actually need, so even if you only eat half of it you'll probably be quite well fed.
I usually self-cater on holidays as it's often easier than finding suitable food out, and paleo food is pretty simple to cook. I do go more relaxed though if I have to eat out, eg I don't worry about whether something's been cooked in vege oil at a Chinese place (it will have been) I just avoid the rice and noodles, go for meat and veg dishes, and don't sweat the rest. I don't eat out very often so I'm not too concerned about upsetting the overall balance of my diet when I'm out.
Traditional Chinese Medicine is very good for hot flashes, not sure if the herbs are OK to take while breastfeeding though. A good TCM practitioner would be able to tell you.
I've found the longer I've been paleo the less I have enjoyed sweet things. I had a couple of expensive chocolates the other day and they were gross! The only dessert-type things I enjoy any more are things I've made myself so I can dial the sweetness right down. eg for my husband's birthday I made a cake that was just 72% chocolate, eggs and a little butter. It was kind of like a baked chocolate mousse, and we all enjoyed it with heavy cream and berries. It worked out at about 10g sugar per serving, and that was quite sweet enough.