The First Dish that I cooked was Loren Cordain's "Chicken Vegetable Soup". I made it on Friday. Very Tasty.

Sunday I made his Vegetable Beef Stir Fry--that didn't go so well...more like an epic fail. Next time I will use a Wok instead of a cast iron pan, and cut up all of my Vegetables ahead of time.

Monday, I decided to go out and have a "burger king bender" King-sized fries, and a miniburger sixpack. To my credit, I left the cheese off the burgers and ordered a bottled water (I know, I know...rearranging the deck chairs...). But I wasn't done yet... I decided I wanted to go see a movie, So I bought some candy (two sm kitkat and a reeces chocolate bar) and a Low Carb Monster Energy Drink (   ) and smuggled it in. I bought some sour gummie worms. Oh and it was District 9, in case you were wondering--it was good, and somehow appropriate to thought process that led up to the dinner I had, yes Wikus and I were very much alike that evening, sorry to say. After the movie, I thought about those fries and those cute little burgers and how unmemorable their flavor was.

Yesterday I had chicken soup for lunch and chicken soup and a green apple for dinner. The apple was from my neighbor's tree, and yes, I did ask before I took them.

Today I am making Ray Audette's Chili recipe. Should be done in about ten minutes. I started the chili by rendering bacon ends in my cast iron skillet after they were all crispy I took them out and added my grassfed ground chuck and then I followed the rest of the recipe.

I had been feeling really hungry, i think it was a lack of fat in my diet. After I had that crispy bacon with all of the fat, I am not hungry anymore, even though it was less volume that a bowl of soup.

Had to get up early, 6:30 am 7 am 7:30 am, didn't exactly bound out of bed. But still managed to be on time.

At the class, was alert and asking intelligent questions (mostly). I realized that writing notes made me miss things. Why O Why didn't I learn shorthand?

11:30am Had a couple bites of R.A.'s greased chili and an apple

driving home and noticed my ankles weren't as swollen -- maybe it was the socks

1pm- ate 1 cup of chili

was offered half of a Arby's Reuben by the lady I worked for (it was a little half -- sliced bread) -- couldn't refuse

took an hour and a half nap (3 - 4:30)

tiny bit of heartburn, sandwich will often do that to me.

5ish could've used a little senna (fallout from the burger King bender persists)

9pm-ate last of chlil (1 cup) and an apple

with all of the fat in that chili I definitely get a lot more mileage than I do out of the chicken soup. A bowl of chicken soup only lasted me a few hours.

tomorrow I make apple and pork curry

I ate an ungodly amount of chocolate cake yesterday and the night before and ended up vomiting all day with a fever. I was very dehydrated. Today, I am feeling better but am still wiped out.

Thursday night I went down to visit my sick grandma and had dinner with my aunt and uncle. It was some new place and my aunt was urging me to try the brushetta. I would have preferred a salad, but they were paying and so my resolve turns to gelatin.

Last night was my step-mother's birthday, It would have been easily for me to go paleo. I could have just stuck to the ribs and salad and would have been fine, but I'm weak and had 3 slices of bread with spinach dip. And cake (which I only ate some, the chocolate cake incident a too-recent memory).

Although I felt fine after the meals, the next day I have a sort of malaise. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm in a rotten mood; depressed and cranky. Lethargic, but not enough to be sleepy.

All I have eaten today was what was in reach of me, banana chips and fish oil capsules.

Lone Wolf…I hope your grandmother is doing better. 
I hope you’re feeling better as well…sounds like non paleo foods really effect you pretty hard.  Good idea keeping food fixed in advance so there’s always something to grab when you get hungry…something I should be doing more of these days myself!

Me vs. Burger King -- A stupid story that is totally true and totally illogical, but then, so is addiction.

I blame Burger King for everything. It is the reason I gained all this weight. So it is only poetic that I this is the thing that keeps popping up as a temptation for me.

It all started when my brother came over, he had had Murder King for lunch and still had his cup of soda. No, I didn't see the food...just the cup. The frickin' CUP tempted me. After he left, I was all ready to go and get me some. Once in the car, the realization of what I was about to do sunk in and I knew that this wasn't a good thing. I could go to a nearby Chinese buffet--yeah, that's what I would do for food. I usually go to one of these places as it is fairly easy to get paleo type food.

I had some errands to attend to I wanted to get a book from the library, oh, but I couldn't because I owed a fine and they wouldn't let me check out another book until I got the amount down. Naturally I didn't have any cash with me, no problem I could go to the mall and take out money there. Oh but wait there's a Murder King in there, that may be a little too tempting for me. Well, whatever, I'll go eat at the buffet first. I started to head in that direction first and then changed my mind. I wanted to get the book first.

I turned and tried to head back to the mall. But the road didn't take me that way. It took me down a road I've never been down before. I don't know why but curiosity overtook me and I went down the road.

And you know what I found at the end of that road? A drive-thru ATM, belonging to my bank no less! What a strange world I live in, I thought to myself. I got the money, got the book and went to the Chinese buffet.

I had a salad first and was delighted that in addition to manufactured dressings that are the standard fare for these types of places, they also had squirt bottles of individual ingredients such as, olive oil, vinegars, wasabi, hot mustard. I put olive oil and drips of hot mustard on my salad and    O    M    G   . That was the best salad I have ever had.

That was Friday.

Last night I wanted something sweet. This same thing happened a few nights ago, but my usual remedies weren't working because I wanted something specific. "Cookie Doughn't You Want Some" from Stone Cold Creamery. And I was suffering from a bad case of the "Aw Hell"'s. I lost 7 pounds the first two weeks, fell off the wagon for a week, gained 3 back, and then lost them last week. Since then, my weigh has flat-lined, "aw hell" might as well take a little break.

It didn't occur to me until on the way back that L-carnitine could have helped my situation by 1) helping me burn fat and 2) giving me more energy. When I got home I took 4 of them as directed on the bottle and I was feeling much better within 20 minutes. I decided to wait a total of an hour before indulging in the ice cream, I still wanted it, but not as bad. I ate half of the ice cream that night and the other half this morning.

This evening the desire for Murder King came back. I made it all the way to their parking lot before realizing that I did have other options. Why not Safeway rotisserie chicken and I could have lettuce with that olive oil and hot mustard dressing that I like so much. My mind was made up. I pulled out of the drive through and went to Safeway.

So here I am stuffed to the gills with salad (dee-wish) and dark meat. The desire for Murder King, gone for now.

I'd say it's about time I learn to stick to this. I have been trying stick to eating this way for 5 years. Things have changed dramatically. I have been out of college for over a year now. College was deeply stressful for me. Since then, I have had sparse employment (and lots of time to think). And the thing that really changed the game for me was achieving my lifelong dream of getting a Permaculture Design Certificate a couple months ago. That gave me a puff of self-esteem, self-respect. The place to start is to permaculture my own life before I try to repair the world. I have a doctor's appointment in a couple weeks, my 1st goal is to eat paleo until then--that will officially be a month until then.

Every time I get tempted and am headed for a cheat, there is this calm feeling that overcomes me, a cool voice that says. What if we decided to NOT do this? We know what lies down the path of indulging ourselves on these f00ds. We've done this a million times. We don't need to be the definition of insanity one more time. Let's try just walking away and see what happens.