Author Topic: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic  (Read 102406 times)

Offline Woopy

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #180 on: April 27, 2011, 07:38:58 PM »
I didn't know women fantasized about being raped, is this normal? If so, why are they complaining about being raped in real life?

Offline rentawitch

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #181 on: April 28, 2011, 02:13:57 AM »
I second that. GOOD LUCK!
The only folks I've ever met who have kids and have it all have no relationship with their kids. They're too busy working to pay for it all while nannies, teachers, coaches and summer camp councelors raise their kids.

SJ seems like a smart guy, probably just means he'll have a life. Having kids rules out lots of traveling, but they can add activities, like I said the "crap" they attend to is still something to do...

That's how I was raised. Both parents worked A LOT, and although not neglectful in the legal sense, they put their careers over kids. They weren't around much at all and when they were "too exhausted" to give a damn what I was up to.

Sparrow, I think Paleo women wanted to be raped because it was common and they didn't know a life of rights and empowerment. Fantasies could be evolutionary too.

CC, are you an accountant? I work in payroll and individual tax in my spare time. I don't have the guts to post my pic, but thanks for posting yours.
Im in personal tax and payroll too. How on earth does one post a picture? Let me see.
There that is the horrible unadorned truth taken on my camera phone in the office.

I don't have children - mainly because I chose the wrong men to have relationships with - twice and missed my chance. I also had a difficult relationship with my mother and I felt if I had children I might be the same as she was. I didn't want that. I make a good Aunty :)


Offline UKtroglodyte

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #182 on: April 28, 2011, 03:15:43 AM »
I didn't know women fantasized about being raped, is this normal? If so, why are they complaining about being raped in real life?
Because a fantasy IS NOT a wish. The two are very different and it's really important to understand that. I don't know the psychology behind it but I'm sure it's been studied and written about somewhere.

Offline rentawitch

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #183 on: April 28, 2011, 03:49:50 AM »
Call it a daydream... not a fantasy. A fantasy has the connotation (rightly or wrongly) of something you desire.

a daydream I feel can be something unpleasant

Offline samjohn

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #184 on: April 28, 2011, 04:09:48 AM »
The nature of women's rape fantasies: an analysis of prevalence, frequency, and contents.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19085605


Offline sparrow

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #185 on: April 28, 2011, 07:56:38 AM »
I didn't know women fantasized about being raped, is this normal? If so, why are they complaining about being raped in real life?

Lol!  It's one thing to have something happen in your imagination or with a trusted partner, where you really have full control over how far things go.  It's another to be forced to have sex when you don't want to do so with that person.

I think that rape fantasies probably vary a lot depending on the culture and the roles of men and women.  One part of rape fantasies, for some women that were brought up believing women don't/shouldn't want sex, is the idea of sex without guilt.  Again, not a universal thing, lots of variation among women.

I see no reason to believe that rape was the primary mating pattern in the paleolithic, although I'm sure it happened.


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18321031


Quote
Erotic rape fantasies are paradoxical: they do not appear to make sense. Why would a person have an erotic and pleasurable fantasy about an event that, in real life, would be abhorrent and traumatic? In this article, the major theories of women's rape fantasies are evaluated both rationally and empirically. These theories explain rape fantasies in terms of masochism, sexual blame avoidance, openness to sexuality, sexual desirability, male rape culture, biological predisposition to surrender, sympathetic physiological activation, and adversary transformation.

Offline Woopy

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #186 on: April 28, 2011, 09:55:32 AM »
Fantasy means you would like that to happen. So if your fantasizing about that shit, stop complaining when it happens

Offline kyleen66

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #187 on: April 28, 2011, 10:23:55 AM »
Fantasy means you would like that to happen. So if your fantasizing about that shit, stop complaining when it happens

Way to blame the victim.

Fantasy has no bearing on real life, hence it's called FANTASY. For example, someone could fantasize about being a Pirate. They get to be free, drink a lot, and sail on a boat. I bet no one thinks about the reality of being a sailor. The work, scarcity of food at times, not being to wash for months, scurvy, and other diseases you could pick up.

I worry that your argument could be used to protect rapists from prosecution. I don't think anyone wants to live in a world like that.

Offline C C G

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #188 on: April 28, 2011, 11:24:30 AM »
Fantasy means you would like that to happen. So if your fantasizing about that shit, stop complaining when it happens


?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!  I hope you're not one of those people that thinks that it's a women's fault if she gets raped if she's drunk, or wearing a short skirt, or has been 'promiscuous' in the past. 

I hope I don't need to tell you what the statistics on rape convictions are.

A fantasy is very different from reality.  It is easy to have a fantasy about something that you absolutely do NOT want to happen in real life, as I have learned from personal experience.

Offline Woopy

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #189 on: April 28, 2011, 11:53:37 AM »
No, I just find it disturbing that women fantasize about being raped. I know I don't have happy dreams about being raped. I know the fantasies I have are things I actually would like to happen

Offline sparrow

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #190 on: April 28, 2011, 12:54:12 PM »
No, I just find it disturbing that women fantasize about being raped. I know I don't have happy dreams about being raped. I know the fantasies I have are things I actually would like to happen

And that's fine.  However, not everybody is like you. 

Many people have fantasies/daydreams/whatever that they wouldn't want to actually see come true, or would be repulsed by in real life. 

I enjoy watching horror movies, but I'd never in a million years wish to see someone get killed  by a psychopath in front of me.  I enjoy watching mixed martial arts, but if people were being forced to fight or were getting killed, my stomach would turn.  Enjoying ritualized violence and/or fantasies of violence doesn't mean you want to see them come true.

Oodar

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #191 on: April 28, 2011, 01:43:35 PM »
You like watching mma for the same reason ppl in rome liked to watch forced fights, human beings by nature are savage and vile creatures from what we like to think we are.

I'd like to use this example for analogy. Today we have laws, rules, and have softened up. Make no mistake we are and always will be savages. MMA is a good example of how we take something brutal like the forced fights of the past and add a touch of civility to it. Some are still repulsed, but it's got rules, tap outs, and the violence is toned down. So most today won't feel guilty watching. It's commercialized too.

My theory is it's the same with our fantasies, our evolutionary principles stick with us in subconscious..

Rape is a clear violation of human rights. No one had rights granted to them in paleo. It was survival of the fittest.

You guys should read plato's writings about perception.

Offline Warren Dew

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #192 on: April 28, 2011, 03:56:31 PM »
There's the old saying you can have kids, or you can have everything else
INDEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'LL TAKE EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'll take the kids.  However, I certainly respect the choice of taking everything else instead.

Oodar

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #193 on: April 28, 2011, 07:59:48 PM »
Im in personal tax and payroll too.

You are a valuable member of society if you are doing that for a living. My job is what makes me feel worthy of life.


Offline rentawitch

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Re: Involuntary celibacy - the underground epidemic
« Reply #194 on: May 03, 2011, 09:32:52 AM »
hmmm I'm not sure I see it like that - but thank you for the vote of confidence.