Author Topic: Sleeping arrangement  (Read 15916 times)

Offline JayJay

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2011, 07:18:20 PM »
All the rules change when you have twins. Trust me. Unless you are "supermom" or "superdad", a lot of things get marginalized compared to singles. Whether that is good or bad in the long term remains a subject of debate.

Offline sparrow

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2011, 06:04:31 AM »
All the rules change when you have twins. Trust me. Unless you are "supermom" or "superdad", a lot of things get marginalized compared to singles. Whether that is good or bad in the long term remains a subject of debate.

I'm not disagreeing with you, JayJay, but I do know a set of triplets that co-slept with their parents for the first few years of their lives.  As far as I know, it was mostly out of convenience, since their older child had a separate room.  All of the children are really cool, well-adjusted young adults now.


Offline greenchild

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2011, 11:14:20 AM »
I don't have anything against co-sleeping in the same bed except I feel the same way as some, that some kids get dependent on it.

We don't really co-sleep with Kaiden.  He slept in a bassinet next to my side of the bed from the time he came home from the NICU at 6 weeks to when he was 6 months old. We had issues with breastfeeding thanks to the NICU nurses; I exclusively pumped for him so I still had to get up and get a bottle when he was hungry in the wee hours (and pump in the middle of the night). (Finally weaning off the fresh breastmilk now after 2.5 yrs, soon to start the freezer stash.) When he moved into his own room I had a video monitor on him for almost another year.  He is a light sleeper at night and me moving around in bed wakes him up.  He is also a restless sleeper, moves around a lot and kicks me solidly from my knees up to my face.  Yeah, he gets to sleep in his own bed!!  Even then, I have to shut his door or the house noises wake him up! 

But, there are times he wakes in the middle of the night and it's easier to co-sleep than let him wake and cry repeatedly for the next several hours.  I like my sleep too.  ;)  And he is awfully cute and snuggly when he isn't kicking me!  ;D

Offline Betho

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2011, 07:07:42 PM »
Our kids go to sleep in the bassinet next to the bed but after the first nighttime feeding they usually just stay in my bed for convenience.  When they hit about 6 months or so, I usually take the next 3 months and focus on keeping them in their own beds, which usually leads to them being in their own rooms shortly afterwards and reducing/stopping nighttime feedings.  Both of my girls slept WAY better in their own room than they did with me.  And I'm not someone who sleeps well when I have a child in bed with me - my "mommy spidey sense" keeps me partially alert and I don't get decent sleep.

I know co-sleeping for an extended period of time works for a lot of families, but my husband and I agree that our bedroom needs to remain "our" space.  I don't want to have to constantly go try and find hidden spots to make love with him, and I noticed my kids were just really dependent on me out of habit and not out of necessity.   When they were in our room they'd wake up and see ME there, and then want ME, instead of naturally learning to go back to sleep on their own.  I know also some kids who cosleep will naturally transition to their own beds, but many of them do not, and after seeing my nephew cosleep and pretty much destroy my brother's sex life, that wasn't something I wanted.  I am a wife FIRST, and mother SECOND.  To me that means making sure my marriage is in good shape, because a healthy happy marriage usually translates to healthy happy kids.  For us, that means keeping our private space private.

It's important to me to still be a very responsive parent, I hear my kids at night and even at ages 2 and 4 when my kids wake up and cry, I come to see them.  Some people probably think I'm nuts,  but I think that stemmed from when I was a working parent I had such limited time with them that I never really minded going in their rooms to comfort them, and then I'd go back in my room and I could sleep fine.  I don't know why, but I've always had a really hard time relaxing myself enough to fully let myself sleep when my kids were in the room.

Offline SarahQ

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2011, 11:36:17 AM »
We co-sleep with our two youngest still.  They are 5 and 2yrs old.  We have a king-sized bed and a single pushed up against it (luckily we have a bedroom large enough to do this.  The arrangement is hubby, 2yr old, me in the king-sized and then 5yr old in her own bed next to ours.  My daughter often squiggles over onto our bed at around 5am and snuggles until we get up later.
I started co-sleeping with my first child when he was 3 weeks old.  We had the conventional cot with newly decorated baby's room etc but our son was a very high needs baby and we seriously got No sleep trying to put him in a cot.  I found the book by Deborah Jackson " three in a bed" and then was OK with my actions and our sleeping arrangements.  None of my subsequent children have ever slept alone if they don't want to and start out in our bed from birth.

In case you are interested how they are turning out? My eldest is now 14yrs old, has had his own room for 9yrs (previously shared with his brother for a bit), and my second is also in his own room.  They are secure, confident kids with regular bed times and no attachment issues :)

As far as sex goes - it is relatively easy to sneak out when they are asleep now and go somewhere else in the house (or garden!  :o ;D).  When they were very small I was not so interested in this anyway so it wasn't an issue for me (but perhaps was for my hubby).

Yes I would class myself as an Attachment-style parent now but I have arrived here slowly over 14yrs, learning as I go.  Co-sleeping and associated breast-feeding started it all though  ;),  baby-wearing followed...


Offline paleowoman

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2011, 09:23:30 AM »
We are into co-sleeping (and attachment parenting). Right when we came home from the hospital we put a sheepskin between our pillows, and made a little bed there for our newborn, in our bed. Since I am breastfeeding it is really convenient to have her so close, I don't have to get up, and usually we both drift back to sleep while she is still at the breast. Also, now (she's six months) when she has started to move a bit and roll around, if I wake up a bit, I can adjust the blanket for her and immediately go back to sleep.

When it comes to sex, it can be arranged for while she is fast asleep.

Offline 3bears

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2011, 06:08:05 PM »
we have always co-slept, we did have issues but the main ones were people being judgemental, actually that was probably the only issue. When we didn't have enough space we got a bigger bed, actually we had mattresses on the floor for a while, which was nice, never had to worry about my son falling off them.

He's 7 now and we sleep with a single bed pushed next to a double, we are happy with it :) I expect he will go to his own bed when he is ready too. 


Offline NewCaveMama

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2011, 03:28:32 PM »
We have 2 daughters who are 5 and 2.5. Our older DD slept with us till she was 2.5 and I was pregnant enough that she weaned and we were both uncomfortable. She then moved to a toddler bed that was pushed next to ours. She didn't move to her own room till right before she turned 5. I had a huge issue sleeping without her right there for the first few months. Our youngest DD weaned a few months ago and still sleeps with us. She has a bed in her sister's room, but she's not ready to sleep there yet. My biggest issue with her is that she wants me to "hold" her ALL night long. I wake up pretty sore most mornings!

Offline Mireia7

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2013, 03:37:37 PM »
My son will be 18 months old and we have bern co-sleeping since the hospital.
He nurses about 2-5 times at night but I barely even notice him waking and latching :)
He can stay in our bed as long as he wants and so can future babies. We are all more comfortable sleeping together. I hated sleeping alone as a kid and still do. That is what is base this on.

Offline Warren Dew

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #24 on: January 24, 2013, 02:20:57 PM »
It does get crowded when you hit 3 babies - unless you kick hubbie out to another bedroom, maybe.

Offline Mireia7

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #25 on: January 25, 2013, 01:24:03 AM »
I think a bigger bed might work for three. We are currently sharing something a bit smaller than a Queen size (European Queen size).
I am sure we will figure something out, we are pretty laid back about it.
I like how certain cultures that "co-sleep"just do
It naturally without looking deeply into parenting method and worrying about whether their children will want to stay in their beds long term.

Some have mentioned lack of alone time as a couple- my son goes to bed 5 hours ahead of us. He has been confident enough to sleep alone in our bed since he was 8 months old. That leaves plenty of time for us as husband and wife. :)

Offline Warren Dew

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Re: Sleeping arrangement
« Reply #26 on: January 28, 2013, 11:00:26 AM »
We have a California King size bed.  We're regretting a bit not going with a regular king, as the shape - wider, not as long - would be better for cosleeping.

Of course, we're tall enough to have wanted the California King back when we were just a couple.